Strategies that can help include: If you are struggling to cope with divorce trauma, contact a professional for extra help. Hyper-independent people need their own space and time alone to recharge their batteries. Thank you for being here. Being a hyper-independent individual, you might find that your social circle may be pretty limited. As we discussed, hyper-independent people may have difficulty opening up and letting others in. I thought it was a diagnosis for war survivors. Post-traumatic stress disorder. An Exploratory Study. "Can you maybe [for example] ask the grandparent to watch your child for one hour and just see how that goes?" Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. In order to determine if you are experiencing PTSD, a psychologist or psychiatrist will conduct an evaluation of your life and mental state. It can be painful to constantly silence yourself and push your emotions away, all while working overtime to anticipate the emotions of other people. See additional information. Its a maladaptive way of creating safety in our connections with others by essentially mirroring the imagined expectations and desires of other people. People who experience physical or emotional abuse are often traumatized and develop hyper-independence as a coping mechanism to protect themselves from potential hurt in the future. I can do it all by myself. 2. But, trauma isnt something you can heal following a 30-day routine. Hyper independent people can feel a reluctance to trust others. The past trauma might have been abuse by their caregivers. This can lead to feeling unsafe asking for help, as they could pair the concept of relying on another person with that caregiver. 4. Coping Mechanism There's a sense of "If I don't include anyone else, I can have total control over the outcome," she says. In addition, you may experience the following symptoms: Panic Anxiety Extreme sadness or depression Social withdrawal Dissociative feelings Headaches They can help you navigate these reactions in a healing way. One main sign of hyper-independence is being distrusting of everyone around you. The information on this site is for informational and educational purposes only. WebHyper-independence is an excessive need for autonomy and control over ones life, often resulting from unresolved trauma caused by a challenging experience or an insecure attachment style. Paranoia and irritability can set in very quickly, as well as an inability to go to sleep. ", "Hyper-independence can both be the cause and result of mental health difficulties," says Saunders. This can be challenging because they might need to learn themselves! Practicing self-care is a crucial part of breaking this emotional reaction. They may try to avoid At its core, hyper-independence is a defense and coping mechanism that can be developed in response to painful or traumatic experiences, such as childhood abuse or abandonment from primary caregivers, which is the struggle people with an avoidant attachment style deal with. Psychcrumbs offers information, resources, and tools to help you live a better life. A hyper-independent person may struggle to develop close relationships, hesitate to open up, show emotional vulnerability, or, as mentioned above, ask for help. This bodily state of your nervous system being on high alert can affect your thoughts, actions, and relationships. The hyper-independent person may initially seem cold or aloof because they dont want to let anyone get too close. This also means that you burden yourself unnecessarily when you can easily work less with more help around. 2020;11:578083. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2020.578083, Bisson JI, Cosgrove S, Lewis C, Robert NP. In fact, trauma, especially past trauma, is one of the leading causes when it comes to Hyper Independence in any one. Were trying to anticipate someone elses happiness, because deep down, we feel responsible for it and are trying everything in our power to ensure that the people we care about arent disappointed. Being excessively independent can affect many parts of a person's life. American Psychiatric Association. Sure, Ill tell you all about my trauma. A history of past trauma is also a risk factor for developing PTSD post-divorce. All rights reserved. Hyper-independence trauma also causes further harm. By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. (+7 Ways to cope). They may also struggle with forming intimate relationships with others due to their lack of trust in others and difficulty trusting their judgment about whether someone is trustworthy or not. 2023 Psych Central, a Healthline Media Company. Hyper-independence can be the result of a lack of social skills. But for people who live with complex trauma, this balance doesnt quite return all the way. The term was first coined by therapist and survivor Pete Walker, who wrote about it in his groundbreaking book Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving. And let me tell you, as a concept, it thoroughly changed the game for me. The goal of each treatment option is to provide a corrective emotional experience for healing. It might help to access trauma-informed yoga sessions, where the yoga instructor is aware that trauma can be stored in the body, and that some body movements can trigger emotional reactions. Here are five ways to keep. They may believe they will be let down or hurt if they allow themselves to rely on others. This can lead them down paths where one person thinks something needs to be accomplished while another thinks something different needs to happen instead. Or, a parent of two might feel the need to "do it all," and try "tirelessly to fulfill [their] work, parenting, household, and relationship obligations," while rarely asking their partner or extended family for support, she says. Trauma is often processed and expressed through hyper-independence to protect oneself from further hurt. Know the difference between self-reliance and hyper-independence. Our website services, content, and products are for informational purposes only. Illustration by Brianna Gilmartin, Verywell. Both Bacow and Saunders recommend taking small, manageable steps toward allowing others to help or support you. Since the body is under chronic stress, it can lower your immune system and lead to a range of chronic health conditions. This kind of thinking can affect their relationships with others because it prevents them from having healthy relationships in the future (such as with friends or romantic partners). Their social circle may be limited to just a few people and even those who are friends with them may still not know much about them. Its OK to ask for assistance when needed because everyone does at some point in their lives. WebWhen diagnosing post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, doctors typically look for three or four key symptoms.Hyperarousal is one of those key symptoms. By delegating work in a more responsible manner, you will be able to make maximum use of your team and also prepare for the worst. Whether hyper-independence is a useful coping strategy remains to be seen, but it does serve as a method of distracting oneself from deep emotional pain. I Have Pornography Addiction: Is There Hope for My Health? Other symptoms of PTSD to look out for include:, If you or someone you know have been experiencing hyperarousal, or any other symptoms of PTSD, the best way to truly understand what you're experiencing is to see a health care professional. 3. It is through trauma that a person learns to be self-sufficient and never depend on others. In that case, this can lead to a deep sense of isolation and loneliness that translates into an intense desire for independence later in life. A. Therefore, if you want to understand what you are going through properly, you should get diagnosed by a licensed therapist. Some of the different types of psychotherapy that are most popular for PTSD patients include:. PTSD is also often treated with medication in addition to therapy. All rights reserved. By leveraging the power of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) -the most common psychotherapeutic approach for treating mental health problems- your therapist will guide you to a happier you through the sections, worksheets, messages, and live sessions. These hyper-independent children may subconsciously feel they cannot trust anyone and must rely on themselves to survive. Now researchers estimate that more than 3% of people meet the criteria for complex trauma, also called complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD), in the United States. If you double down on an identity of independence, then you don't engage in supportive relationships with friends and family." All the responses involve some conclusion of feeling more worn out and stressed from constantly pushing themselves to do more and avoid more people. Hyper-independence trauma can also be caused by perceived rejection from others. Because you cant arrange someone elses taste buds, magically know their book preferences, or anticipate whether or not that art exhibit you want to see is actually worth going to. Not sure if your stress levels are healthy? Fawning often requires that we shut down emotionally. DOI: 10.1056/NEJM198712243172604. Whats the connection? However, there are still similarities in symptoms. Psych Central does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. "I would think of it almost as a phobia you're afraid to relinquish control and you're afraid to enlist help," says Bacow. In some cases,dissociativesymptoms may occur, such asdepersonalization (the feeling ofbeing detached from oneself) or derealization (a feeling of unreality). They might not even consider them at all. Trauma, the kind youve likely heard of, can develop after a distinct traumatic experience. The limbic system stays engaged most of the time. Its natural for us to want independence and control over our own lives. 2017;211(5):280288. Its tough work, but you deserve to feel whole and seen in every relationship you have. This can help build trust and rapport between two people and give each other a chance to connect on another level beyond just doing things for each other. Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. And thats why I think hyper-independence can be contagious: when one person is immersed in hyper-independence, they might subconsciously draw others into the mix. Let them take over the weekly grocery run or meal prep so that you can carve out time for self-care. Trauma (PTSD) can have a deep effect on the body, rewiring the nervous system but the brain remains flexible, and healing is possible. "At some point in time, it developed as a survival strategy to assist in keeping you safe. As the name suggests, hyper-independence is "an over-investment in autonomy and self-reliance," according to Terri Bacow, Ph.D., a cognitive-behavioral psychologist and author ofGoodbye, Anxiety: A Guided Journal for Overcoming Worry. Finding healthy activities that let out emotions like anger or fear in safe ways can also help. Overly Independent people can also manifest in the need to over-achieve. It might make someone unwilling to lean on their romantic partner for emotional support at a time when they're "really struggling with the compounded stress of work and extended family crises," says Saunders. This phenomenon could signify underlying trauma or difficult life circumstances which cause an individual to isolate themselves from others to cope with emotional pain. In some cases, hyper-independence may also stem from a feeling of not belonging or being accepted by others. We have also checked out the signs of Hyper Independence caused by trauma, and various coping strategies to counter this response. There are many more, which you can explore on our previous blog, Signs and Symptoms. You dont know how to say no to people. What if they hate it? I wonder. U.S. STD Cases Increased During COVIDs 2nd Year, Have IBD and Insomnia? This not only reduces your workload, but also increases your productivity as a whole unit. Is It (Finally) Time to Stop Calling COVID a Pandemic? How Does Hyperarousal in PTSD Affect Your Life? And theres not yet enough evidence to determine cause and effect. Chronic, distressing childhood experiences that can cause trauma symptoms later in life are referred to as adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). Here's some tips on better sleep for the. Join our community of avid learners and stay up-to-date with the latest news, insights, and exclusive content. The hyper independent It does get easier, though I can promise you that. Related:The 7 Stages of Trauma Bonding: Heres Why You Cant Leave. Once referred to as "combat stress reaction"or"battle fatigue", PTSD gained official recognition as a mental health condition in 1980in thethird editionof theDiagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders(DSM-lll). PTSD is a mental health condition that can develop after a traumatic event. "It can damage the bond and relationship. When trauma remains untreated, signs, symptoms and responses may begin to appear. Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. But having a range of tools and self-care strategies can make the process a whole lot easier. Use my link to start only at 40$ per week for your first month. A 2018 study involving veterans with PTSD found that a regular meditation practice can reduce symptoms of trauma. Hyper-independent people may build theiridentities around being single as well, she adds. fatigue. Even if they are in a romantic relationship, people who are hyper independent because of some trauma may be pretty secretive. As an advocate, hes passionate about building community for people in recovery. Hyper-independence can be harmful in relationships, but its not always the case. If you find yourself alone emotionally and have no one to rely upon, think about your reactions to situations that asked you to be emotionally vulnerable, but your instincts refused to follow. Start delegating work. People who experience poverty, homelessness, or other difficult living conditions may develop hyper-independence to cope with their situation. When someone else offers to do something instead of doing it yourself, allow them to do so without feeling guilty even if its not how things would usually go! It can also help you understand why hyper-independent people respond this way and how they can work towards creating healthier relationships with themselves and others. It usually stems from trauma you experienced in childhood, though it can develop from trauma in adulthood as well. Because they often take on more than they can chew, hyper independent people are pretty prone to burnouts. These trauma responses from hyper-independent people are discussed below as signs of hyper-independence. Many trauma survivors experience a loss of control as part of their trauma, and hyper-independence might be a way that they seek to regain a sense of control over their environment. There are two clear ways to overcome hyper independence. Its all dependent on your determination to do so. 1. 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